WHY?????

I lie here alone,
and a tear rolls down my eye.
I ask myself again and again,
why? Somebody plz tell me why?

I ask her to keep distance,
because hers I am not.
but still I cant get over her,
sometimes I miss her a lot.

She said she couldnt move on,
Lost without me she would get.
I knew she was the best there was,
the best I had ever met.

But still I could not have her,
I told her to let go.
I told her we not meant to be,
the reason I still dont know.

And now she has changed a lot,
she has evolved,has moved on.
we still the best of friends,mind you
but the feeling i think has gone.

But i think I lost something else,
along with my feelings, my life.
I think I lost the friend I had,
because of the quarrels and the strife.

I used to know her the best,
but she is now a stranger to me.
I could look into her heart then,
now in her eyes its impossible to see.

I could have told her all i had,
in my heart,in my mind.
But now I cant even speak a word,
however hard she tries to find.

I miss her a lot some days,
I feel so scared,so alone.
Sometimes when the sun shines brightly outside,
I feel freezed down to the bone.

I dont know why I left her,
dont know why miss her I do.
I had her inside my heart all along,
and I think this she herself knew.

Why do I negate myself,
when I ask her to move on.
why do I want her just the same,
when its better if she is reborn.

I know I cant have her,
then why do I always want.
Why do I envy anyone she talks to?
why do her memories haunt?

I want her to be happy,
with anyone except me.
then why is it that I get hurt,
and her,with noone else I can see.

Why do I always blame her,
for hurting me,for making me cry.
and forget the time when I was in her shoes,
and her eyes never kept dry.

She is like an angel in this world,
but no,afterall she is human.
I cant expect her to love me still,
after all that to her I have done.

I wish her luck,I care for her,
I want her to be happy, to smile.
And want myself to let her go,
to let her choose whom she thinks worthwhile.

I want to sometimes hide,
sometimes to run away.
I want to tell her all I feel,
why is it so difficult to say????

P.S. before you all start sending me condolences and feel sorry for me,just want to tell that this
isnt my story.was in a bad mood today so wrote abt something which does spoil most moods.feel a lot better.